disclaimer: this will be a emo post, perhaps a side of me that you never really knew. i hate for people to ask me about the deeper side of my family, so don’t ask. this might be the only few times that i express much about it cause i really need to vent it out. =/

it sucks to feel helpless especially something’s happening in your family. when i heard about the news i wanted to drown myself in the sea and float away to a deserted island. maybe i never thought this could actually happen to me. i think im giving the benefit of doubt but my brother says im plain naive.

every time i think about my family, it brings tears to my eyes. we’re not lying by the streets or have drug dealers as family members but we just have so many underlying issues that we face day by day.  whenever i see happy families around, i would smile and dream to experience that everyday of my life. when people complain about how they hate/dislike their parents, i feel so sad about it cause they have no idea how it hurts not having them around.

sometimes i wished i would grow up faster just so i can take care of my parents. and i promise myself that i will have a happy complete family that is God centred in future. for now, im still hoping that things will make a turn for itself and God, i need you so badly.

after the recording of what i felt about my parents with the church, i really do feel much more strongly about them. but i just cant believe things turn out more sour than ever. God, heal my heart and my family. =’(

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